The Advocate

Acts 15:1-2; 33-39; Revelation 21:10, 22-27; John 14:23-29

Hasn't this been an interesting week? For the past few days the White House has had little more to deal with than a T.V. program called "Murphy Brown." You'll, no doubt, remember that Vice President Quayle made a speech earlier this week condemning "Murphy Brown," a single woman, for choosing to get pregnant and have a baby. He said that he didn't feel that this was a good example for T.V. to set; that it made having a child out of wedlock acceptable. The White House, on the other hand, then came out with a statement saying that maybe Quayle's remarks were a little stern; that Murphy Brown should actually be commended for choosing to have the baby rather than going out and having an abortion. Bill Clinton got into the debate, saying that the whole controversy simply points to the failure of government over the past 12 years. And, Ross Perot got into the debate by saying that the whole discussion was ridiculous, since it was over a fictional T.V. character that a lot of people don't watch, anyway.

But, if anything, the controversy of the last few days has pointed to the fact that there is a growing concern among Americans about the family. And, indeed, our concern for the home is reflected in our gospel lesson for today where Jesus told his disciples: "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him."

Some of you may remember the runaway smash movie that came out during the 1990-91 holiday season called Home Alone. The plot of the movie was centered around the adventures of a young boy who was accidentally left home alone when his family flew off for a European vacation. While his frantic parents encountered endless delays trying to return for their misplaced son, the boy is shown learning to manage by himself, quite nicely, thank you. He masters the tasks of grocery shopping, cooking, laundry and not-so-incidentally also manages to foil two would-be burglars. For this upbeat movie there are few bad consequences suffered by either parents or child from their unplanned separation. Indeed, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." When they finally get back together, the family seems even more close together and more appreciative of the love all its members share.

Unfortunately, not all children left home alone cope so capably or ever experience the return of a family with welcoming hugs and full hearts. For many home-alone children, the "F" word no longer spoken in their presence is F-A-M-I-L-Y. Home, once called "the second womb for children," is now a tomb of abuse and abandonment for many. For these "Survivor Kids," their primary business in life is just to survive. Hence our exploding problems of drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, crime, child neglect, family abandonment, etc.

We live in a country with one of the highest murder rates in the world. But half again as many Americans kill themselves as are killed by others. In 1984, 29,286 Americans committed suicide. On the average day 80 Americans kill themselves, 14 of them under 25, five under 20. According to research scholars cited in The Enigma of Suicide, the primary underlying cause of the rising suicide rate among American youth is the breakdown of the family.

In 1990 a commission of prominent American leaders issued a report on the problems of American children called Code Blue. It concluded: "Never before has one generation of American teenagers been less healthy, less cared for or less prepared for life than their parents were at the same age." Increasingly we are finding ourselves alone, whatever our age, whatever our family -- whether "double" parents, "single" parents, or "triple plus" (extended) parents Even in the best marriage, one must learn to live alone. But there is a vast difference between learning to live alone and being home alone. For as Jesus said, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." With Jesus there is hope.

Old Russian peasant log houses were constructed around a key log running under the center of the floor and sticking out the end. To pull the house down a tractor simply had to jerk back and forth on this key log until the entire structure collapsed. The Russian word used for shaking the key log is also the word for agitation, meaning "to shake to pieces from underneath." Today American society is being shaken by a variety of forces pulling at several "key logs." One of the most "key" of these "logs" is the family.

Among the log-shaking forces threatening the safety of our family structure are economic pressures -- both of great wealth and of great poverty. In previous generations economic hardship sometimes helped to pull families together, sharing workloads, workplaces and work hours. But our 24-hour, seven day-a-week society has managed to force working parents away from their children at all hours, on all days.

The economic necessity of two incomes is real. A single parent trying to make ends meet may have no other choice than to take the 3 to 11 p.m. shift at the local Burger King, to work the weekend sale at Sears, or to get to their desk before the office officially opens in order to get the only available computer time. For kids this means long afternoons at day care (if they are lucky) or the solitary confinement of a latchkey existence. Mealtime is heralded by the echoing "ding" of the microwave, not the din of gathered family at the end of the day.

We rarely think of families struggling for togetherness on the higher end of the economic scale. But studies are increasingly showing that even the rich are sometimes more anxious, depressed and underemployed than the poor. In fact, there is a name, affluenza, for the "parade of pathologies" that afflict the rich as well as the poor. Or in the words of one wealthy young man, "Being born with a silver spoon in your mouth doesn't necessarily help you cope with reality."

The biggest problem with the affluent, however, is what one writer called "money's isolation booth." Rich kids as well as poor kids experience isolation and lack of emotional bonding. One psychoanalyst says his affluent patients suffer from early emotional neglect and are "as parentally starved as a child in the worst ghetto, the only difference being that they can wrap their neglect in minks."

A scene from the movie, "The Doctor" has the lead actor portraying a cynical, successful heart surgeon whose life attitude is suddenly turned around by his own bout with cancer. When he comes home unexpectedly in the middle of the day to be with his family, his wife calls to their young son playing outside, "Come in and say hello to your father." The boy races into the room without even noticing his father standing at the other end. Automatically his son picks up the phone and says, "Hi Dad...hello, hello..." Then turning to his mother, he says, "Well, Mom, we must have got cut off..."

Whereas Jesus, in places seems to reject family, he in fact enhances the importance of family by enlarging its scope. A Christian family, however odd its shape or size, is one which is a member of the one, true, all-embracing family of God. Or, as Jesus said, "All who do the will of my heavenly Father are part of my family." Here is a family with a love more deep, a forgiveness more wide and a compassion more broad than any human relationships can offer. A Christian family, then, is one whose security and unity is not assured through its own abilities or efforts. Its "key log" is shored up by a faith in something larger than itself -- Jesus Christ.

The church makes a mistake when it idealizes the home as a self-con tained spiritual oasis in the midst of the dangerous desert of secular culture. Indeed, trying to depict the home as being this kind of thing may actually be an attempt to perpetuate the 19th century upper-class family ideal. Several well-known books written by well intentioned authors to advocate "Christian family" have actually been endorsements of a form of isolationist protectionism. We must also remember that there are structural problems with the modern concept of family that make it difficult for "home" to deliver what it promises: Whether we like it or not, reality proves that "The modern family is not an ongoing extended unit; instead it exists only to disintegrate, since the children are expected to leave home and live out a separate and independent existence for which they have been trained."

Little wonder that our families feel like pressure cookers. The demands on the home are getting greater as the ability of the home to meet these demands is becoming less. The quest to create such a perfect, untroubled, spirit-filled bubble in the boiling soup of everyday existence can only cause us to burst at the seams. Whether we like it or not, the home is NOT a "holy refuge," and it is certainly not "far from the maddening throng." To be a Christian family, a Christian home, means to be right in the middle of that boiling soup pot, offering ourselves and our God to everyone else who is in the soup with us. To accomplish this purpose Jesus left his physical presence on earth, the church as the Body of Christ, as the means for us to be "in the world but not of it." Jesus also left us the aid and comfort of the Holy Spirit, one whom he called "The Advocate," whose presence in our lives is most often felt because of our participation in the life of the church. He told his disciples that when he left, he wouldn't leave them alone, isolated, and helpless. Rather, when Jesus left, God sent "The Advocate," the Holy Spirit to guide, give comfort, and help.

When operating correctly, the church becomes the site of all those graces aimed for by the 19th-century family ideal, without the selfish, smug reclusiveness associated with such a family. The biological family which participates faithfully in the Christ-body-community, the family which goes to church, finds it is empowered from God, from the Advocate, to hold together. Church and family work together to build up the body of Christ.

Historically the earliest churches were not buildings dedicated for the purpose of worship. The early church was a cluster of households where the followers of Jesus would gather for prayer and praise. And when one house could no longer contain the worshipers, they did not go and build a sanctuary. They simply expanded into other welcoming homes. Christianity grew literally from house to house.

What is true historically is also true spiritually. Christianity began at home 2000 years ago and Christianity begins at home today. The home is the seedbed of the Christian faith. In welcoming the church into the home we nourish and nurture our own Christian life. Or, as Jesus said: If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. With such a Father and a Son in the home, how can we ever be home alone?

Amen.