Former Pastors Shouldn't Go Back!

Every so often as I have served churches over the years I have gotten requests from persons to invite a former pastor back to the parish to do weddings, funerals, and other pastoral functions. Sometimes the request has even been made directly to the former pastors, by-passing the resident pastor entirely. The question is: What should be the response of the former pastor to invitations to come back?

Essentially, the rule of thumb should be this: The former pastor should say nothing more than this: "I'm awfully sorry, but my schedule simply will not allow me to come back." Technically, this should be true. Pastors should have no time in their busy schedule to go back to a former parish.

If you're a pastor here's why you shouldn't go back:

• When you go back to a former parish to do weddings, funerals, baptisms or whatever, you run a great risk of impeding and sabotaging the work of the resident pastor and even the local church in that parish. After all, why should folks get involved in their local church and meet their new pastor when they can always call upon their favorite former pastor to take care of their religious needs?
  
• When you go back to a former parish you may be unwittingly interfering in a pastor-parish relations problem. Indeed, if a pastor is having difficulty in a parish and a former pastor comes back to do something it may actually intensify the problem the resident pastor is having. If, for instance, the resident pastor is a woman, people may invite a male pastor back as a means of not having to deal with their bigotry. Do you really want to be a part of this? There are many other possible examples, as well.
  
• It is the duty of the resident pastor to provide the day-to-day pastoral care for those who have had weddings and lost loved ones. A returning former pastor cannot maintain this kind of relationship with former parishioners and makes it difficult for the resident pastor to have one, either.
  
• When you go back you may cheapen what it is you are trying to accomplish with the former parishioner by implying that the involvement of the local church and its pastor is not important in that activity.
  
• Local churches are having a hard enough time trying to maintain the loyalty of parishioners without the competition of former pastors. Pastors who consistently return to a community do not support the ministry of the local church, but maintain their own "pseudo-church" of loyal parishioners.

For obvious reasons, when a former pastor is asked to return to a parish for pastoral functions, the pastor should never say, "No, I can't come back – your pastor doesn't want me to!" The response should be simple and polite – "I'm sorry! My schedule won't allow it!"

Not only is this response recommended by pastoral ethics, it's also just one way of saying, "Get to know the fine pastor you have!" and "Get involved, once again, in the church where you live!"

-- Paul G. Donelson